A Projector's Reflection on Creative Overflow | in Light of Human Design & Vedic Wisdom
Author :: Jess Marie 🌻 CVC, CAHC, INHC, E-RYT
Living as a Projector in a Generator-dominated world can feel very isolating. While others seem to have endless energy for doing, I need significant rest and can only work in focused bursts. When I was younger, even in my twenties, I felt that there was something wrong with me, watching others have experiences that would completely deplete me.
But, as I continue to deepen my understanding of my Human Design profile as a 1/3 Emotional Projector (one of four energy types designed to guide & direct energy rather than generate it), and my dharma, each reading brings new layers of understanding that illuminate not just who I am, but how I'm designed to move through periods of growth & transformation. I find my Self drawn again & again to the powerfully resonating insights that emerge from the intersection of Human Design and Vedic wisdom. My recent session with Adriana Keefe illuminated new dimensions of my design, and also occurred at a pivotal moment in my life, a particularly potent time of transition & refinement in my life: a time of creative channeling / downloads, and what I can only describe as a beautiful overwhelm of potential directions for my work & life purpose.
Imagine the following: I wake up with seventeen different book ideas, two course concepts, and a burning desire to completely reorganize my entire life's work, all before my morning begins. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts, insights, and ideas I can't bear to forget, and every conversation sparks new directions I want to explore, new topics to research. This is what I mean by being 'a volcano of information.' It feels like having a fire hydrant opened full force inside your nervous system, exhilarating & overwhelming simultaneously. There's a quality of urgency to it, as if the universe is downloading everything at once and expecting me to somehow catch it all. Some days I feel like I'm drowning in possibility, paralyzed by the fear that choosing one direction means abandoning all the others forever.
This exploration during the session felt especially significant as I stand at a crossroads seeking greater clarity on my path as a healer, counselor, and potential published book author while navigating the emotional richness that accompanies periods of transformation. There's something profoundly validating about seeing the cosmic mechanics behind what we intuitively feel, and this session offered exactly that kind of validation.
What emerged from this reading was a profound validation of the emotional & energetic experiences I've been navigating, along with practical insights for honoring my unique rhythms during this period of refinement. Most significantly, I discovered that this creative chaos isn't random but intimately connected to my deepest wound and greatest gift: my journey with codependency and the healing wisdom I'm meant to share with the world.
Codependency as Doorway
The moment Adriana revealed that Gate 19, the gate of codependency, sits at the root of my chart as my core wound, everything clicked into place with startling clarity. The Gene Keys describe this as the shadow of codependence, the gift of sensitivity, and in its highest expression, the siddhi of sacrifice. This was a moment of recognition of a truth I'd been living without fully realizing.
My journey with codependency began in childhood, as it does for most of us, through well-meaning attempts to manage family dynamics and earn love. For years, I lost my Self in others' needs, believing my worth came through service while simultaneously resenting the very people I was trying to help. The exhaustion was profound, but I couldn't see another way to exist. My liberation from these patterns didn't happen overnight. It required learning to feel my own feelings without immediately rushing to fix someone else's discomfort. It meant practicing saying no when every fiber of my Being wanted to say yes. Most challenging of all, it required developing a focused commitment to Self Work, what I refer to as the ability to tend to my own needs as lovingly as I once tended to others. What struck me most about this revelation was understanding that my wound had become my medicine. Everything I learned in healing my own codependent patterns, the boundary work, the emotional regulation, the reclaiming of personal power, these very skills now form the foundation of my work with others.
Recently, I caught my Self saying yes to a collaboration that felt draining simply because I didn't want to disappoint the other person. The old patterns are sneaky, they show up disguised as kindness or service. I still struggle most with boundaries around my time & energy, especially with people I care about. The difference now is that I catch these patterns faster and have tools to redirect.
This understanding reframes my entire relationship with my past. Those years of struggle weren't time wasted or wounds to simply 'get over,' they were preparation for a very specific kind of service. Every pattern I identified, every boundary I learned to set, every moment I chose my own needs over someone else's approval became part of a curriculum I didn't know I was studying.
This revelation provided profound validation, for not only have I liberated my Self from codependency, but it makes sense as to why I've been called to write specifically about codependency from an alternative therapeutic perspective. Just as the lotus flower blooms from muddy waters, our greatest gifts often emerge from our deepest wounds. It's not coincidental that I'm drawn to this topic; it's quite literally what I'm here to heal & teach about through my own experimentation & process.
The Vedic concept of svadharma (one's own duty or nature) suggests that our greatest service often comes through transforming our deepest wounds into wisdom. My 1/3 profile means I'm designed to learn through trial & error, then share what I've discovered with others who are ready to receive it.
The alignment between my core wound and my work revealed that nothing is random. My experiences with codependency have not been arbitrary suffering but purposeful preparation for the healing wisdom I'm meant to share. This connection validates my desire to offer a perspective on codependency that differs from the traditional, conventional, and even ‘twelve-step’ approach; one that emphasizes the possibility of true healing & liberation rather than permanent identification with the wound. Unlike approaches that make codependency a permanent identity, I advocate for what's possible: moving beyond the wound into complete wholeness.
I find myself called to be an advocate for a different perspective within the recovery community, where labels often become permanent identities. My mission involves sharing a truth that offers hope: healing & transformation are not only possible but are our natural state when we align with our authentic, true, highest Self.
The Gift of Emotion
This emotional intensity around my healing work wasn't happening in isolation, for it was intimately connected to the creative overflow I'd been experiencing. The session began with an immediate recognition of the intense emotional energy I've been experiencing lately. Through the lens of current planetary transits (temporary activations from current planetary positions), I discovered that my emotions within my solar plexus were directly connected to my expression within my throat center during this period. Adriana immediately picked up on this emotional intensity, and shared that every part of my solar plexus was activated, creating an amplified emotional experience that's actually divinely timed to support whatever I need to navigate in this moment. It could also be described as an experience of heightened emotional intelligence that feels both challenging and deeply purposeful, which I resonate with greatly.
In Human Design terms, this emotional intensity occurs because my Solar Plexus center (one of the body's motor centers) is defined, meaning I have consistent access to emotional energy but must ride its natural cycles. Transits, the temporary activations from current planetary positions, are currently connecting my emotions directly to my Throat center, amplifying both the intensity and my need to express what I'm feeling.
Living with a defined emotional center means I feel emotions like weather systems moving through me. I notice the beginning of an emotional wave, maybe excitement about a new project, and I've learned to track how it builds, peaks, and eventually settles. What this means in my daily life is that I never make important decisions when I'm in the high or low of the wave, only in the clarity that comes between them.
As someone with emotional authority (decision-making through emotional clarity rather than immediate knowing), my decision-making process requires patience and attunement to my emotional wave. Unlike those with splenic or sacral authority who can make decisions in the moment, I must ride the full cycle of my emotions, from the high points of enthusiasm to the low points of doubt, before clarity emerges. This means sitting with opportunities, feeling into them across multiple emotional states, and waiting for that moment of emotional calm where I can sense the truth beneath the fluctuations. It's not about making decisions when I feel good or bad, but rather waiting for emotional neutrality where my authentic knowing can emerge. This process has taught me that what feels urgent rarely is, and that the right decisions reveal themselves when I honor my emotional rhythm rather than rushing toward outcomes.
Understanding the gunas (the three qualities of nature) has helped me navigate my emotional waves with more grace. When I'm in rajas (activity), my emotions feel urgent & demanding. During tamas (inertia), they feel heavy & stagnant. But sattva (balance) brings the clarity I need for decision-making. Instead of judging these different states, I recognize them as natural fluctuations that each serve a purpose in my emotional ecology.
The cosmic connection of my emotions illuminated why I've been experiencing such emotional abundance, not from a place of sadness or confusion, but from a space of overwhelm mixed with excitement. This connection also beautifully illustrates the rtu: the right timing for particular actions & experience; that nothing happens randomly, and even challenging experiences serve our highest evolution. As someone with a defined emotional center, I've learned to ride these waves rather than resist them, but understanding the cosmic context helped me embrace this particularly intense period with greater trust & acceptance.
Just as the Vedas teach that certain energies become accessible during specific cosmic alignments, Human Design reveals how transits activate different aspects of our being when we need them most. What might seem like an inconvenient emotional intensity is actually a divinely timed gift, offering the exact emotional toolkit needed for current decisions & growth.
My Creative Dilemma & Sacred Fire
One of my primary challenges has been navigating the abundant creative energy that flows through me: what I've come to think of as being ‘a volcano of information.’ With so many projects calling for my attention, from books waiting to be written, to programs wanting to be created, to wisdom yearning to be shared, I've struggled with how to refine & focus this energy without diminishing its power. This is a common experience for many of us who feel called to serve & teach: we want to help everyone, everywhere, with everything we've learned.
In Vedic wisdom, this creative abundance reminds me of tapas: the heat of transformation that must be properly channeled. When tapas is undirected, it can create internal agitation; when focused, it becomes a powerful force for manifestation and spiritual evolution. What I'm experiencing feels like what the Vedas describe as tapas: the heat of spiritual transformation. This creative fire burns through me, demanding expression, and I'm learning that my responsibility is to provide it with proper channels for this tapas to move through me rather than trying to contain it within conventional structures.
But my Human Design reveals a more refined approach: with my emotional authority, I was reminded to sit with each opportunity individually and feel into how they make me emotionally resonate, allowing my emotional guidance system to show me what wants to emerge first.
The reading illuminated something crucial: I have books wanting to be born, and while my logical mind insisted I should finish the first one before starting the second, third, and fourth, my energy was powerfully drawn to the newer project focused on codependency. What I discovered is that my Being was responding to what wants to be expressed through me.
The key to understanding this creative chaos lay in a specific aspect of my design I'd never fully grasped.
One of the most helpful revelations was learning about my Gate 14 energy (specific archetypal energy activated in my chart), which appears multiple times throughout my chart in my conscious & unconscious design, my North Node, and my Pluto. This sacral gate represents learning to use my energy correctly, and when aligned, it provides immense energy and attracts material resources naturally. Gate 14 is known as one of the most sacral-like energetic gates, and when used correctly, it provides immense energy availability. It's also called the ‘possession and great measure’ gate because when we honor this energy and work with what it wants to create, material resources naturally flow toward us. This perfectly aligns with the Vedic concept of yukta-vairagya: skillful engagement that comes from being in harmony with one's true nature.
I feel this Gate 14 energy as a literal warming in my solar plexus, for it's unmistakable when it arrives. My whole body seems to lean toward what it’s calling me to do. When I ignore this feeling, I notice my energy becomes sluggish & scattered, like trying to swim upstream. But when I follow it, time seems to disappear and words flow through me rather than from me.
Adriana described Gate 14 as the "get rich" gate, and not solely financially, but in terms of all resources: the most aligned networks, communities, opportunities, and support finding their way to me when I follow what feels like fire in my belly rather than what my logical mind thinks I should prioritize. This insight connected beautifully with the Vedic understanding of dharma: following one's true nature & purpose. The Gate 14 energy isn't consistently available (since I don't have a defined sacral center), but when it pulses through me, it's inviting me to follow that energy completely, even if it means setting aside other projects temporarily.
My understanding of dharma has evolved from an intellectual concept to a lived experience through my Human Design journey. Each morning, I ask my Self: ‘What wants to emerge through me today?’ rather than ‘What should I accomplish?’ This simple shift from duty-based thinking to dharma-based feeling has revolutionized how I approach my work & relationships. I'm beginning to understand that Gate 14's fire is specifically showing up to fuel my codependency healing / counseling work. The energy feels most alive when I'm writing or thinking about boundaries, healthy selfishness, and liberation from people-pleasing patterns. It's as if my nervous system recognizes this as the work it came here to do.
This looks different in practice than I initially expected. For example, I was dutifully working on my weekly newsletter when suddenly my new website project for my consulting practice Avinya Consulting began calling so strongly I could barely focus on anything else. Instead of forcing my Self to stick to my logical plan, I followed the energy. In just over a week, I created a brilliantly beautiful website that I’m proud of, a project I accomplished in less time than if I had three weeks worth of forcing the work through. The material felt alive, like it was creating itself through me.
This indicates that my life's spiritual transformation is intimately connected with learning to honor my energy's natural rhythms. This all resonates with the Vedic understanding of kaala as well: cosmic timing that supersedes human scheduling. Just as the Vedas teach that certain activities are more potent during particular cosmic alignments, Human Design reveals that honoring our unique energetic rhythms yields greater results than forcing one’s Self into standardized patterns of work & rest.
This understanding of my core wound brought new clarity to another challenge I'd been navigating.
The Challenge of the Defined Throat
A significant focus of the reading was on my defined throat center (consistent way of experiencing communication energy) and the current confusion I had been experiencing around how to communicate my work to the world. With so much wanting to emerge, I've been feeling a kind of shutdown overwhelm, knowing I have important things to share but not knowing where to start.
Adriana took an opportunity to challenge me. While I prefer to process internally and figure things out through writing before sharing with anyone (even my own partner), my defined throat center actually needs regular nurturing through speaking, singing, and vocal expression. Despite having this defined center for communication, I've struggled with voicing my thoughts & ideas before they feel fully formed. I tend to withhold information to protect my Self, preferring internal processing and written communication over vocal expression.
This pattern represents a common conditioning, especially for women, where defined Throat centers become repressed due to societal messages about appropriate expression. Adriana even pulled an oracle card titled ‘Be Real,’ which felt both exciting & overwhelming. The invitation is to start using my voice more, beginning perhaps with my partner in safe spaces, and gradually expanding that expression, pointing toward a more authentic relationship with my natural capacity for expression. The Human Design perspective confirms the wisdom of this approach. My struggle to use my voice connects directly to my codependent conditioning; I learned early that my thoughts and needs were less important than others' comfort.
The truth is, my fear of speaking before I'm 'ready' runs deeper than perfectionism, for it's rooted in early experiences of being misunderstood or having my words used against me. There's a part of me that learned to protect itself through silence, believing that if I don't speak my truth, no one can reject it. This shows up as endless internal rehearsing, writing & rewriting emails before sending them, and sitting silent in meetings even when I have valuable insights to share.
I've noticed I'm most vocal when I'm frustrated or passionate about something unjust, as if strong emotion finally overrides my internal censor. But I struggle to share the gentler truths: my excitement about ideas, my uncertainty when I'm learning something new, or my simple human need for connection & understanding. The invitation to 'be real' is incredibly necessary.
This connects deeply with the Vedic concept of vak: sacred speech as a creative force. In Vedic tradition, speech is not merely communication but a power of manifestation. By learning to express my truth more freely, I'm not just sharing information but actually bringing new realities into being. My relationship with vak has been complicated by years of believing my voice wasn't safe. But I'm beginning to understand that every time I withhold my truth, I'm not just silencing my Self, I'm preventing something that wants to be born through me from entering the world.
My struggle to use my voice connects directly to my codependent conditioning; I learned early on in my childhood that my thoughts & needs were less important than others' comfort. Speaking my truth is essential preparation for the codependency guidance I'm meant to offer others who struggle with similar patterns.
Interestingly, this challenge around voice connects to my sun gate of Gate 23, which is part of the ‘genius to freak’ channel. During my Saturn return, I'm literally being asked to step into using my voice more because that's fundamentally what my energy is designed to do: communicate transformative insights & ideas. I'm experiencing a time of coming home to deeper Self-understanding. My Sun Gate is Gate 23, connected to the throat and associated with assimilation and expression of knowledge. During this Saturn return, I'm being called to use my voice more because that's literally what my energy in its most overarching form is here to do. The 23rd gate, known as the gate of assimilation, gives voice to unique insights in transformative ways. This perfectly explains my life's calling to not just understand complex wisdom traditions, but to translate and share them in accessible ways that catalyze understanding in others.
This aligns with the Vedic concept of guru-shishya parampara: the sacred tradition of transmitting knowledge from teacher to student. In this tradition, wisdom is not hoarded but shared in ways that meet the student's capacity to receive it. I notice that my Gate 23 energy wants to take complex, esoteric concepts and break them down into digestible pieces, but in the past, I struggled with the vulnerability this requires. I felt exposed when I share insights before they're perfectly polished. What I'm learning is that this gate challenges me to be willing to assimilate and share what's moving through me in real time.
The invitation to use my voice more authentically was part of a larger theme emerging from the reading.
Integration in Practice
This reading came at exactly the right time in my journey of refinement. Rather than seeing my state of emotional intensity and creative overflow as problems to solve, I can now understand them as features of my design expressing themselves during a period of significant transformation. Integrating these insights into daily life requires both courage & experimentation. Here's how I'm actively implementing what this reading revealed ::
Emotional Check-Ins: My mornings now include an internal emotional check-in before making any decisions about the day. “Am I in clarity, or am I in a wave?” This simple awareness has prevented countless frantic choices and allows more aligned decisions to emerge.
Following My Creative Fire: When I feel the Gate 14 energy pulsing, that unmistakable feeling of excitement & aliveness around a project or task, I'm working towards being able to drop everything else and following it completely. This means hopping on my laptop two in the morning writing sessions, keeping notebooks by my bed for download / channel moments, and structuring my schedule with large blocks of open time (three or more hours) rather than back-to-back commitments. The pattern is undeniable: following creates flow & synchronicity; resisting creates stagnation.
Voice Liberation Practice: I'm also working towards creating five to ten-minute recorded voice notes of affirmations, lyric / song ideas, project ideas, dreams, etc. No editing, no audience; just pure expression. The intention is to share whatever wants to emerge without editing, like free writing. I have a goal to gradually progress to sharing insights with my partner before they feel 'ready,' and eventually to creating audio content for my counseling practice. It's slowly dissolving the internal censor that has kept so much wisdom locked inside.
Boundary Alchemy: Practicing 'healthy selfishness' by saying yes to what genuinely excites me and no to what drains me, even when the draining activities seem 'good' or 'helpful' to others.
There's grief in recognizing how many years I spent fighting my innate design instead of honoring it, all those times I forced my Self to work when my energy wasn't available, all those projects I pushed through without genuine enthusiasm, all those moments I said yes when my body was saying no. I'm learning to hold this grief tenderly while celebrating that I know so much better now.
But perhaps more importantly, this reading reminded me that the very qualities I sometimes see as challenges (my need for rest, my emotional intensity, my preference for depth over constant activity) are actually sophisticated aspects of my design that enable me to offer my unique gifts to the world. Also, most importantly, I completely trust that my healing journey with codependency isn't a detour from my spiritual path, for it’s my spiritual path. Every boundary I set, every time I choose my needs over others' expectations, every moment I speak my truth despite fear of rejection, I'm not just healing my Self but modeling what's possible for others trapped in similar patterns.
The work continues, as it always does. But now it feels less like forcing my Self into an alien design and more like coming home to the way I was always meant to operate.
This exploration of my chart has once again revealed the beautiful harmony between modern systems of Self understanding and ancient Vedic wisdom. As I continue to navigate this period of refinement, I'm filled with gratitude for the incredible wisdom Human Design offers in understanding not just who we are, but how we're designed to flow through periods of growth & transformation. Both traditions recognize that we each embody unique patterns of cosmic energy, and our fulfillment comes through honoring rather than resisting these patterns.
As a Projector with a deep connection to Vedic philosophy, I find my Self continually drawn to the intersection of these wisdom traditions. My journey involves not just understanding these systems intellectually, but embodying their wisdom through lived experience, honoring my unique design while sharing the insights that emerge from this embodiment.
This particular session has illuminated specific aspects of my journey that call for attention now the dance between structure & flow, internal processing and external expression, and completing what I've started and following new inspirations. These are polarities to be navigated with awareness & grace.
As I continue this journey of refinement, I'm filled with gratitude for these complementary systems of wisdom that offer validation, language, and practical guidance for living in alignment with my true nature. The path forward is focused on deepening into authentic relationship with my own energy, a relationship that's both sacred & practical, ancient & immediate.
Combined with the ancient insights of Vedic philosophy, Human Design provides a complete framework for living in alignment with one’s truest nature.
For my fellow Projectors and anyone navigating their own periods of creative overflow & transformation, I offer this: trust the intelligence of your design. The very things that make you different are not obstacles to overcome but gifts to be honored and shared when the time is right!
discover your unique way of Being
If you're interested in Human Design, I highly recommend listening taking advantage of Adriana Keefe’s offerings.
If you're interested in the integration of Human Design & The Vedas for well-Being, be sure to seek care from a qualified Vedic professional (like me! 🌻) to learn more about this ancient & effective approach.
Jess Marie 🌻
CVC, CAHC, INHC, RYT
Jess is a multi-certified, multi-faceted Vedic professional & business consultant. She offers wellness offerings to support those seeking a more holistic & integrative approach to healing, as well as business support services for professionals in the health, wellness & spirituality fields.
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